Home Made Movies Part 5

Let's look at taking such videos from another angle. Suppose you find yourself with camera in hand at a deadly event you'd rather missed filled with boorish in-laws you really don't like. Just for the fun of it you decided to record the event in the most hateful manner possible. Here are a few ideas. Start by shoving the camera in peoples' faces while they are chewing on food and make them say something. Then move everyone to a cramped area and make them repeatedly say cheese. If possible, put a bright light in their eyes or put them outside in the sunniest place you can find. Make the parents feel guilty for their kids that won't stand still and film their anger and frustration.

After that, hope everyone slouches down in a couch with a beer or too much dinner to watch a football game on TV. Stand over them like a regal king and shoot down on them making them look as slovenly as possible. If you block their view of the TV, maybe one of them will stick his tongue out, curse you or give you the finger, all of which you can happily record for future generations. One of my favorite shots occurs when you burst into a bathroom while someone is sitting on the pot. Wake someone up who is taking a nap. With luck you can so invade someone's territory while they are having a serious discussion that they will stick the palm of their hand out to block your lens just like a good communist policeman might have as he was beating up on a kid.

Find the fat people and film them to show off their large stomachs. Find the old and shriveled people and go in tight on their bad skin. If one of the kids is a bully, film him persecuting his younger siblings. Capture whining and temper tantrums if possible. Pray for a big family argument that you can film surreptitiously.

That's just a few suggestions how to make people look awful -- it's very easy to do, and most subjects will rise to the occasion without much prompting. In fact, if you are not careful, you will accidentally capture lots of such footage without really trying. We see it all the time at our shop.

Mail us at:
1917 Blankenbaker Parkway
Louisville KY 40299
Call us at:
(502) 266-0905

That's all for now. This is a work in progress and I've put the rough version up on the web hoping for some feedback. If there's interest, maybe that will spur me on to finish it up.

Video Kitchen was founded in 1992 as a place to "cook up a great video!" Over the years over 25,000 customers have come through our doors to do everything from duplicating a tape for their family to production of sophisticated broadcast-quality videos for businesses, organizations and charities. We have grown from one to two closely integrated operations in Louisville Kentucky. The original operation is at 2323 Bardstown Road, Louisville KY, 40205, a mile and a half north of I-264 in the middle of the bustling Bardstown Road corridor. If you look at a map of the Louisville metropolitan area, we are very near the center of the map. In April 2004 Video Kitchen opened a second location to better serve you at 1917 Blankenbaker Parkway, Louisville KY, 40299. This is in Louisville's east end, two traffic lights south of I-64 in the Blankenbaker Place Center.

Not only do you gain access to professional equipment, you'll find a professional staff ready to help you create a superb video. If you need copies, one or thousands, we are the place to do that for you, six days a week.